Libraries are awesome. Libraries are awesome, very much so. Libraries are awesome... But there are some things that you must not do in them. Ahhhhhh! Horrors! Yes, but it's true; there are some things you must not do. [in which Hannah plugs the library to Lego movie music and is a poet and knows it]
Okay, but seriously 😒 (yes, I can be serious) there's just some things that are not allowed. And sometimes this is sad, and sometimes this is good. Let us take us a look at some of the things that are verboten.
Running your hands along book spines while running.
NOOOOOOO! But this Is. The. Best!!! #WeProtest (oh dear, more poetry) I mean, running your hands along book spines is nice, but when you've got a long line of books, aisles of them, and you can have both arms stretched out and... it practically begs running down the aisle and being like "EUPHORIA!"
But you can't run in the library. Why? Because people used to run into librarians and then the librarians got mad and the people were scorched dead so... (at least this is my theory) Anyways, your library is looking out for your personal safety! #Bless ❤️
(Although next time there's an after hours event at my library I am so doing this--after I make sure there are no librarians around the corner for me to run into)
Oh yeah, I know it LOOKS EASY, but NO, do not do it, unless you KNOW HOW TO DO IT, and knowing how to do it is not as easy as it looks. Trust a'me. I tried out for a page job at a library (and was too nervous and failed the dewey decimal system--epic cry face 😭) and I learned what you have to do. NOT WHAT I HAD THOUGHT. Did you think that as long as it was the same author, you could just stick it in with the author's other books? Haha, NO. It has to be in alphabetical order, and numbers must be converted into the word and then shelved alphabetically too, SO please, unless you really know what you're doing, just DON'T. You'll just make it harder for the library workers. And we don't want angry library workers do we? Remember: fire and death
Screaming "Library, YEAH!"
I know, uber epic sad here, but it's not allowed. You might disturb librarians working and... FIRE AND DEATH!!!! 🔥BLOOD AND BONES! ☠️ BLOWS AND FISTS! 👊🏼 Being loud is not allowed, unless you are a librarian, namely my teen one, who is the loudest person I know and can get away with anything because she's an omnipotent dragon who can do whatever the hell she wants. So unless you're Mrs. Awe, this IS NOT ALLOWED. (unless you are at an after-hours event in which case GO FOR IT! Don't you wish you had after-hours events at your library?)
Whoa, wait, what? NO CAKE????? What is the world coming to? Is it the apocalypse (wo-o, I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones....) Um, no, but food isn't allowed in the library. Why? Because too many people spill lasagna on book pages and that makes it look like murder was committed with a book, and libraries do have to save books' reputations, you know. This is theory No.1. Theory No.2 is that hungry librarians ate all the food that was brought in, and the patrons boo-hooed from lack of lasagna. Never mind why people were bring lasagna inside a library in the first place, but yes, hungry librarians. DOES THAT SOUND LIKE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH? How about hungry mad gluten-intolerant librarians who are incensed by your un-gluten-free lasagna? HAHAHAHA... #dead
Of course this can be overridden if you are at an after hours event b/c PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING CAN. Okay, actually lots of normal hour events have food too. Although it's NEVER LASAGNA. (why is that, one wonders? 🙄)
So the takeaway? Follow the rules and don't become epic piles of ash. And beg your librarians for lots of after hour events. Yes, because librarians are the evil overlords and severely enjoy groveling. Haha... #Funny #Not
Next week I will post something on evil librarians I think. That is if I still live. #LibrariansReadThis BlogAndMayNotBeAmusedWithMe #SendPrayers
Is the crazy Wranting Writer and Lordess Lady of the blog b/c she says so.